I've sort of avoided blogging in this journal for the simple lack of anything nice to
say about the world u.u - usually when I want to type, the only thing I want to share is
how absolutely horribly unhappy my current job is making me. The bubble of
frustraiting inside me has peeked and the place just fuckin sucks T_T I hate the way it
makes me feel and how I can never find anything I want to talk about with my friends other
than how much I HATE MY JOB.
It's the only thing I think about, fuck I've even started to dream about all the
horrible things that go wrong at work - so even when I'm sleeping I feel like crap.
I spend every waking minute waiting at home for someone to call me and compalin
about something I've done (it's happened). Every day I think about my next shift at
work I start to stress over the one little itty bitty thing I may have missed that would
make someone yell at me as I walk through the door. It happens every day I work.
I do things one way to please someone, couple days later people start to complain
about it so we stop. Then they complain that we stopped. We get told one week
to do something one way, then when we do it that way again the next week, we get yelled at
for it - we're supposed to do it the way we did it before (MAKE UP YOUR FUCKIN MIND T_T).
This "we" I speak of is only Me and Manda. Because we take the fall
for everyone else. If I deligate someone to file at the end of the night, and they
miss one signature - it's my fault or Manda's fault.
My manager is the last 'new hire' our store had in my department (long story on how
that happened) so she's never had to deal with any influx of new people. This job
takes a while to get use to T.T yet they're expecting 5-6 new people to do everything
correct right away. She has no idea what it's like to be a "new person"
who works once or twice a week having to remember everything because she didn't work only
"once or twice" a week, she worked 5 days a week and a good friend of hers was
the woman in charge. Of course you're going to catch on fast T.T. But some of
these girls - this is not only their once a week job, it's their first job. My god
And if they don't do things right - it's mine and Manda's responsibility. I tell
them to do this, that or the other thing, and if they do it wrong - it's not their fault -
it's mine (like I'm supposed to go over ALL their filing, ALL their safe counting and ALL
their cleaning... like I have time to do this T.T).
This job has made me a horrible person in the last 6 weeks... ^^; and I'm going to cut
back my availiablitly to like Tues/Thurs/Sat (discount card $_$) or something and work
somewhere else T_T hate...
I have nothing else to talk about ._. I feel terrible about it T.T but there's nothing
else in my brain except wanting to not work there anymore. HATE.
I'd outright quit now, but I need money u.u; - to cheer me up I've been spending money
on YJ... it's not been working out too well. I'm still unhappy.
Another story was written at 02:36 p.m., Tuesday, October 21, 2003